Do you ever find yourself feeling like there’s something missing from your life, or like you’re always reaching to achieve the next milestone that’s just out of grasp?
The reverse gap approach to gratitude allows you to break free from this thinking and find contentment in the present moment. With the reverse gap, life won’t feel like a constant race to do, be, and have more.
Keep reading as we explore what the reverse gap is and how you can implement it.
Why We Fixate on What’s Missing
We live in a pretty fast-paced society. We’re told we have to be more, do more, have more, and achieve more. No matter what we have, it’s never enough. There’s always something newer and shinier to chase after.
This leads us to, often unconsciously, tying our happiness to future goals. We tell ourselves “I’ll be happy when I’m in a relationship”, or “I’ll be happy when I get that promotion”. With this mindset, there’s a gap between where you are and where you want to be.
There are two problems with this gap:
- It’s impossible to be happy in the present because you’ve placed your happiness in the future
- When the future goal is achieved, the goalpost always moves forward. It’s like constantly chasing the horizon — there will always be a new goal to meet. You can get that promotion, but it will only be a matter of time before you want the next one.
How the Reverse Gap Cultivates Gratitude
Think back to 5 years ago – the job you had, the relationship you were in, and how you felt about life on yourself. Reflect on the experiences you’ve had since then and the life lessons you’ve learned, and you will see how much you have to be grateful for. You’ve grown and evolved.
This gratitude approach is the reverse gap. It’s easy to forget just how far you’ve come when you’re always looking forward at how far you have to go. Looking back can show you how many reasons you have to be happy with your current life just as it is now.
It’s okay to look forward and set goals, but your happiness doesn’t have to be tied to those future goals.
The reverse gap is a mindfulness practice that reminds you your happiness is in the here and now. Right now, in this moment, you already be, have, and do so many things that your younger self always wanted. Remember to look back on your life, you’ve already achieved so much!
How a Daily Gratitude Practice Can Change Your Life
“It is not joy that makes us grateful. It is gratitude that makes us joyful.” – David Steindl-Rast
Increase happiness and Lifespan
A popular study known as the Nun Study looked at the journals of 180 nuns who all had very similar lifestyles. Those with the most positive journals that expressed contentment, gratitude, happiness, and hope lived noticeably longer lives – 90% of the happiest nuns lived past 85, and only 34% of those who were scored as the least happy lived past 85.
Improve Well-being
Research has shown that practicing gratitude can lead to improvements in psychological and physical well-being, and can help with things like feeling more alert and having better sleep.
Gratitude & Mental Health
A study by researchers from the University of Rome found that practising gratitude can reduce the symptoms of anxiety and depression. As well as this, it also helps with managing stress.
Better Relationships
Showing an appreciation for others boosts your relationship with them. Numerous studies have shown a link between gratitude and increased marriage satisfaction, with gratitude strengthening the relationship and leading to increased effort with relationship maintenance.
Shifting Your Gratitude Practice
It’s easy to get caught up in striving for more and feeling like happiness is out of reach. The reverse gap is a mindset shift, encouraging us to look back and appreciate how far we’ve come, and feel gratitude in the present moment.
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