Are you struggling to let go of pain and trauma from the past? Choosing forgiveness could be the key to your emotional freedom. Forgiveness provides release and liberation, leading to emotional wellbeing and personal development.
In this article, discover what forgiveness is, why it’s so important, and 3 powerful forgiveness practices you can implement today.
What Does Forgiveness Mean?
Choosing forgiveness means letting go of all negative thoughts and feelings towards others who have wronged us. It’s more than just telling someone you forgive them; it’s an internal process and release of any anger and hurt you are storing.
No matter how bad the wrong was, you can apply forgiveness. This is because forgiving someone is not the same as pardoning, condoning or excusing what they did. It also doesn’t mean you have to forget about it. Forgiveness is more rewarding to you than the person you forgive. Letting go of resentment frees you from the burden you’re carrying and facilitates emotional healing. You can’t change the past, but you can change the way you feel about it and choose to not let it affect your future.
Forgiveness starts with you – the other party doesn’t have to forgive you in return, and it doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation. It’s simply about moving to a place of neutrality and indifference. Choosing just to tolerate the person or situation isn’t forgiving them, because this involves suppressing emotions which creates stress on our minds and our bodies.
Why It’s Important to Forgive
Relationships – Holding on to negative emotions from the past affects how we view the world and other people, which can overflow into your current and future relationships. Choosing forgiveness stops this from happening and allows you to be a more understanding and compassionate person.
“If you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on people who didn’t cut you” — Unknown
Health – Ongoing grudges, resentment, and anger are a physical burden on us, and are linked to poor physical and mental health. Studies have shown that these emotions can lead to increased levels of anxiety, depression and stress, as well as physical problems such as an increased risk of heart attack, high cholesterol and blood pressure, and poor sleeping patterns. Forgiveness reduces stress, which leads to improved health.
Self-Forgiveness – When you forgive someone else, the person you are really forgiving is yourself. You’re not doing it for the other person, you’re doing this to free yourself, which is the most important thing. If someone treated you poorly, forgive yourself for tolerating that behaviour. Recognise that the actions of other people are not a reflection of your worth.
“I think the first step is to understand that forgiveness does not exonerate the perpetrator. Forgiveness liberates the victim. It’s a gift you give yourself.” — T.D. Jakes
3 Forgiveness Techniques to Try:
Conscious Choice
Forgiveness is a choice, and anybody can make a conscious decision to let go of the past through forgiving others. Acknowledge your emotions and how they may be affecting you, and work to release them. Forgiveness is also a process – You may not feel ready to let go straight away, and that’s okay. If you can make the decision that you may be willing to forgive in the future, that is the first step.
Through Meditation
Forgiveness meditations are a great way to let go of any conscious or unconscious resentment you may be holding on to towards others. There are many meditations for this, but the premise is the same. Visualize someone you need to forgive, and imagine yourself forgiving them, and them forgiving you. A great meditation for this is the 6 phase meditation, although many others can be found online.
Talking It Out
Sometimes talking it out can provide relief for both sides. Let the other person know how you feel, and you may be surprised by their reaction. They might not even be aware that they have hurt you in the past, or they may have been wanting to talk to you about it too. Whatever their reaction, it will feel like a load off your chest to let your feelings be known and forgive them. Alternatively, you can talk it out with a support group or a therapist.
“Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter. Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free” —Dave Willis
Summary: Choosing Forgiveness
When we let go and commit to a practice of choosing forgiveness, it liberates and empowers us. It’s necessary for our physical and mental health and beneficial to our health and our future relationships.
At La Vita Sukha, we value healthy communication and emotional and spiritual well-being. If this post resonates with you, you would feel at home at our autumn coliving.